Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Veggie Tears
Eli and I were driving around doing errands yesterday. It was quite an ordinary Monday- a day I usually set aside to catch up from the weekend and get everything in order for the upcoming week. This usually includes laundry and errands. Yesterday was no exception.
Eli was in a great mood as we were driving around. We were playing simple silly imitating games and laughing hard together. With all the fun we were having it seemed appropriate to put on Eli's favorite CD for us to further enjoy our time together.
Eli got a great CD for Christmas from his Mia and Papa. It is a Veggie Tales CD that is personalized so all the songs say his own name, 'Eli' in them. It is really neat- kinda freaks him about a bit- but at the same time he definitely thinks it is really cool. He just sort of has a look like, 'how do they know my name?!?' but then soon gets over it and shakes his head and wiggles his feet to the music.
The first 11 songs were great fun. We were happy and we knew it so we clapped our hands, we were reminded that God had the whole world in His hands, and we were educated on the many different types of vegetables that can also sing!
Then came the 12th song...
This is Veggie Tales I'm talking about- vegetables that sing songs in silly vegetable voices for children. But the 12th song came on and out shot the tears from my eyes. I could hardly drive I was crying so hard. Next to that though, I was almost wanting to laugh at the outrageousness of the fact that veggie tales was moving me to tears! But I couldn't resist being so moved. The truth was that powerful.
Here are the words to the song- the echo of my heart. The Simplicity of it was exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of because it is all so very true. It is a perspective I always want for in it I can be grateful and content. It is what I want the song of my heart to be:
"God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good,
He's so good to Eli and me.
He cares for me.
He cares for me.
He cares for me.
He's so good to Eli and me.
I praise His name.
I praise His name.
I praise His name,
He's so good to Eli and me."
This is moving because even though this has been a season of greater loss than I ever fathomed possible- Eli and I have never once lacked any good thing. God has been so faithful to us through out this whole season to provide all that we need. His word and promises have proven true to us time and time and again. It is not optimism but truth! I am overwhelmed as I watch how He has so faithfully and abundantly cared for us. We have needed it desperately and He has given us just what we need- often in ways other than I had expected- but always good and always sufficient. He's never early and never late.
Matthew 6:30,"And if God cares so wonderfully for the flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!"
I praise His name! He is so good to Eli and me!!!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Airplane!!!
Eli and his new wondrous wonders. I love being able to share some of the many adorable and often admirable things Eli is doing. His newest sweet attribute is saying the word, 'Hi.' He says it in the sweetest Eli voice, which is high pitched and almost a whisper with the beginning 'h' sound being very emphasized and breathy. His greeting is always accompanied with the most heart warming smile- a miracle since medical science thought that Eli would not have the ability to smile and show emotion because that was where his worst brain injury was sustained: on his right temperal lobe- the emotion control area.
I love how Eli is so welcoming and loving. He loves to look up with big cheerful eyes and say, "hi!". He is particularly fond of children that are still young but a few years older than he is. He follows them around trying to imitate them, laughing with sheer delight whenever he succeeds.
Lately, we have been focusing on recognizing objects that are part of our daily life that might otherwise go un-noticed. Eli doesn't pass by a bush with out giving it a pat and exclaiming with all his might, "uush!" He is also really into throwing dried leaves and dirt. This makes him laugh as he watches it float down to the ground.
Another thing I have been pointing out for the past few weeks is airplanes. It took him a few days to catch on to what all the hype was about. But now, if he even so much as hears a lawn mower down the street he has his head tilted back and mouth wide open.
A few nights ago, after a nice time rollerblading through the neighborhood together, we sat out on our lawn watching the sunset. It was a beautiful display of God's majesty love and power. I sat watching it with Eli and remarked aloud, "It is amazing that the same God who can create such a vast beautiful sunset created you and created this sunset for your enjoyment because He loves you and wants to bless you. The same God that is holding all of creation in His hands has you in His hands too."
His power is so infinite and yet His love is so intimate!!!
As Eli and I watched the sky we also noticed an unusual amount of planes flying overhead. The jetstream must have been just so that the flight pattern was right over our house. There was a regular pattern of planes flying over just about once a minute.
Eli was delighted to point each and every plane out to me with unwavering fervor. We had so much fun getting all excited when we heard another one coming towards us from a distance. As soon as it caught the sunlight and we could see it we'd both exclaim, "airplane- AIRPLANE!" Eli with his arms reaching towards the sky.
I think the cutest mommy moment happened not when Eli was pointing out a plane but instead when there was a lull in the overhead activity. Eli looked at me and so sweetly asked with just about the sweetest expression he's ever made, 'more'- doing the hand sign of knocking his fists together. I looked at him so helpless and said, "I'm sorry but mommy doesn't control the planes in the sky. She can't put more up there. I sorry sweetheart."
Oh, if I could have, I'd have put the coolest plane EVER up in the sky- an old red plane that could do tricks; or maybe the Wright brother's plane or wait...maybe a Blue Angel- yeah that'd be really neat...a Blue Angel! Unfortunately, as awesome as us moms are and as many talents that we must have to be able to do our job- putting planes in the sky is not on our list of abilities. How do you explain that to an 18 month old who has so enjoyed such an incredible entertaining air display and is not ready for it to be over?!?
Luckily, a few seconds later Eli found a cool stick and was on to assisting the bushes in our yard with their identity crisis... all was well and orderly in the Buffington household and in the sky.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Absolute Surrender
Absolute Surrender. My spirit is willing, it is something I desire, but my flesh is so so very weak. I take comfort in the truth Jesus taught in Luke 18:27, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Romans 7:18 says, "To will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good, I find not." I too feel torn between the desire of my heart and the war in my flesh for my actions. In my frustration which has come from failing so many times, from failing every time and falling short with every effort and good intention- I turned to God and in turn read a wonderful and heart changing book by Andrew Murray entitled Absolute Surrender.
Through Murray, God spoke straight to my heart and conflictedness. On page 80-81 he says, "The will of man is nothing but an empty vessel in which the power of God is to be made manifest... God allows that failure so that the regenerate man should be taught his own utter inability."
I never clearly understood the truth that it is in my weakness that I am the strongest in the Lord. Murray goes so far as to say on page 114, "The great hindrance to trust is self-effort... If you will bow down in nothingness and wait on God, He will become all. As long as we are something, God cannot be all. His omnipotence cannot do its full work. That is the beginning of faith- utter despair of self, a ceasing from man and everything on earth and finding our hope in God alone."
This brings a whole new light and depth of understanding to the many scriptures that talk about how God is close to the humble and broken hearted (Psalm 34:18), how God gives grace to the humble (Psalm 3:34), and the reason to humble yourself before the Lord so He can lift you up (James 4:10). I knew it was a good thing to be humble- but I saw it more as something that affected my life in the world- not my spiritual walk. I never saw how my own self-effort and pride could hinder the power of God so much in my life until I read this book.
I am now beginning to understand my deep need to pray for humility- for the power of the Holy Spirit to come and help me to recognize my need to cry out as Paul did in Romans 7:24-25, "O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Praise God that there is such a great and glorious hope- such a magnificent and unending power. I want the wisdom to accept that power, the power described in Ephesians 3:20, "By His mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Exceeding power is available to me in abundance- freely given through Christ by the Holy Spirit.
I know I need to pray for grace to die to self. I have a choice. I must choose: deny self or deny Christ- there is no lukewarm answer. The severity of God's desire to be either hot or cold is very real. Deny self or deny Christ.
What is it to deny self? It is faith in Christ; utter helplessness in self. It is coming to the end of myself which is the beginning of Christ. It is realizing, as Paul had so realized, that I am the worst of sinners and that apart from Christ I am nothing but a mere worm! Dying to self is absolute surrender, surrender of our own feeble efforts. "You cannot stir up faith from the depths of your heart. Leave your heart, and look into the face of Christ (Murray 118)."
How often do I ask God to bless my feeble efforts instead of refusing to go unless He goes before me? Too often! I confess I am guilty of what Murray describes on page 72, "Some of us want God to give us a little help while we do our best, instead of coming to understand what God wants, and to say: I can do nothing. God must and will do all."
How often do I try my best and settle for just a little of God's help? Is it that I do not want to inconvenience Him? Afterall, He does have a whole universe to take charge of! Well, it's impossible to inconvenience Him- He wants me to trust Him. That is His message and call all through out His inspired word: 'Come and let Me show you My power and love; trust Me and let Me empower and love you.'
Jesus said in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing!" Nothing, absolutely nothing- so why do I keep trying?!? He does not say that apart from me you can't do a lot or apart from me you will get tired and frustrated. No, instead He says, 'Wait on me and I will renew your strength (Isaiah 40:31), come to me all you who are weary (Matthew 11:28), because I know that apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5). Do not waste your time trying- trust me and let me will and do for I have showed you through my servant Paul in Philippians 2:13, "God is working in you, giving you the
desire to obey him and the
power to do what pleases him.".'
It is not me, it is not my power, my working or my doing. Instead, it is quite the contrary and quite clear in Paul's letter to the Philippians that it is God- both to
will and to
do. He gives me the desire and the ability. Apart from Him I can do nothing. This is humility in its truest form. This is what it is to deny self.
This all can seem so overwhelming but I know even those feelings are good for they lead me to the end of myself which leads to the beginning of Christ. This is where I need to be- desperate for the power of the Holy Spirit to come and empower me. For it is only by His Spirit that I can do this. I must look to Him. This is a daily, moment by moment gaze into His face. Denying self,- looking away from my self, is following Christ and looking to Him.
"If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you? Don't these things happen just as they did with Abraham? He believed God, and that act of belief was turned into a life that was right with God." (Galations 3:3-6, Message)
Christ was the ultimate example of absolute surrender. He said just before his sacrificial death in John 17:19, "I give myself entirely to you so they also might be entirely yours." What surrender! What love! "Listen to Him say: I am the vine; I will receive you. I will draw you to Myself; I will bless you. I will strengthen you; I will fill you with My Spirit. I, the Vine, have taken you to be My branches. I have given myself utterly to you; children, give yourselves utterly to Me. I have surrendered Myself as God absolutely to you. I became man and died for you that I might be entirely yours. Come and surrender yourselves entirely to be mine." (Murray 138)
So as we have seen, God gives us the desire and the power to surrender. But there is one more important truth. God maintains the surrender. As we live by faith- utter despair of self- God maintains our surrender. It is not until we can confess and realize that in our own human weakness it is impossible to live in absolute and constant surrender before God- that what is impossible with man is possible with God-for with God all things are possible (Luke 1:37).
Trust Him in humility to maintain and empower your absolute surrender. Whatever it may be- He can do it. What ever it is that seems impossible to let go of and to trust Him with- let it go and trust Him. The greatest hindrance to trust is self-effort. Deny self instead of denying Christ the ability to be your source. By His Spirit you have all the power you need for life and godliness. Humility is looking to Him instead of self. True humilty draws all attention to Christ and away from self.
We have this assurance in 2 peter 1:3, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." It is in now way of us or by our own effort. No! He has given us everything we need out of His goodness. We must come to Him and trust Him and deny self! He will maintain our surrender as we come to Him in faith- utter helplessness of self. He has given us everything we need. He is everything we need.
So let my prayer be: "Oh wretched man that I am, that I might fully understand how truly feeble my efforts and attempts are. Help me to die to self and to trust you with my all. Until I become nothing You can not become all. I want you to be all. I want to live in absolute surrender to You and Your will. Empower me now by your Holy Spirit to do what is impossible with man!"
What is it that is holding you back? I can think of a whole list of things that are hindrances to me. Murray nails it for me on page 135-136, "Oh we find he Christian life so difficult because we seek God's blessing while we live in our own will. We desire to live the Christian life according to our own liking. We make our own plans and choose our own work" Then, we ask the Lord to bless it, to bless our efforts and plans. I even go as far as to be disappointed when He does not bless them. My friends, this must change. I must learn the importance of absolute surrender before absolute disappointment takes over my life!!!
God is showing me that He is much bigger than my plans or my scripts that I could ever write for my life. I praise Him that He is not satisfied to allow me to live in what I desire and dream up. I praise Him for letting me experience disappointment for it is through that disappointment that He shows me grace. Grace to let me instead learn to trust Him and rely on Him. Grace to learn what it is to deny self and follow Christ. Grace to live in His fullness.
As is quite obvious, my life has not gone anyway as I had planned or imagined it would go. AJ's death was a major rip apart from my script. It was so huge that I knew no human effort on my behalf would surfice in accepting it, so I simply did not try but instead let God and in that He's given me amazing abundant grace to surrender it to Him and let Him carry me.
The bigger test for me has proven to be in my daily life- in trusting God with the smaller things. I almost became lazy with these things since I had relied so much on Him to carry my intense grief. There was so much I was holding back from Him. What I thought was surrender was far from it. This became evident as I was allowed to experience disappointment. I praise God for this disappointment for it is through it that I am being lead to Christ- to trust and to surrender- which I know leads to life- every good, perfect and pleasing gift- abundant life, life in fellowship with Christ.
After AJ died and my script was abruptly changed, I immediately but yet unintentionally wrote a new script to replace that which was ruined and made impossible. I had a plan for what my life would look like and how God would redeem my life. I covered it all in spirituality- but that could not hide my fingerprints that were all over it. I tried through my own feeble efforts and attempts to bring about my own redemption story, to no avail- by the grace of God. He loves me too much to let me settle for my own plan. For as He so rightly says in Isaiah 55:9, "For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."
I am struck by the fact in Jeremiah 29:11, a familiar verse which says, "For I know that plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope," that assurance is taken in the fact that God knows exactly what His plans are for us, not that we know exactly what those plans are. Beyond that, and more importantly, it is
His plans that are good, it is
His plans that He is talking about, not our own. We can only have this assurance as we surrender to
His plans.
After another disappointment I was broken and finally in a place God needed me to be- the end of myself- a place I need to remain if I am to live in the power of His Spirit. I cried out to God from this place. His answer was a loving rebuke found in 1 Samuel 12. I will close with sharing how through 1 Samuel God is bringing me victoriously through a season of disappointment and discontentment.
The Israelites went to Samuel, their Judge, whom the Lord had appointed and said, in 1 Samuel 8:19-20, "Even so, we still want a king. We want to be like the nations around us." This request grieved Samuel, so he took it to the Lord. God replied in verse 7, "For it is me they are rejecting, not you. They don't want me to be their king any longer."
God had faithfully provided for them all that they needed. But they were not satisfied. They wanted to be like all the other nations around them. They were discontent and asked God for more, in doing this they grieved God and rejected His plan for them. They were in essence saying, 'you are not enough for us, give us a king for that is what we think we need. We need to be like everyone else around us.' They cared little for God's plan and what He desired for them. They were comparing themselves to those around them istead of to God in doing this they found themselves discontent and lacking.
God in His love granted their request, but He surely did not leave it at that. He had higher plans of teaching them and perfecting them through it, through their sin. In 1 Samuel 12: 12-13 it says, "But when you were afraid of Nahash, the king of Ammon, you came to me and said that you wanted a king to reign over you, even though the Lord your God was already your king. All right, here is the king you have chosen. Look him over. You asked for him, and the Lord has granted your request."
This is interesting, it was out of fear that they distrusted God. God had clearly provided all they needed- for He was their king. It is a hard statement He makes when He says, 'you asked for him.' I do not want that to be the way God grants my requests. I can almost hear a hint of sarcasm in His tone. 'YOU asked for him- this is YOUR plan, this is what YOU wanted, but know it is not pleasing to Me, it is not what I desired for you- but YOU asked for him so here he is, here is your 'king' YOU thought YOU needed.' This is a lot to chew. It shows the need of living in absolute surrender with my prayers and the requests I make of God.
In verse 20-22, God gives comfort and assurance, "Don't be afraid, Samuel reassured them. You have certainly done wrong but make sure now that you worship the Lord with all your heart and that you don't turn your back on him in any way. Don't go back to worshipping worthless idols that cannot help or rescue you- they really are useless! The Lord will not abandon his chosen people, for that would dishonor his great name. He made you a special nation for himself."
There is comfort here. There is forgiveness even when we reject God and His plan. How often do I think that whatever it is I am so desiring today will help me or rescue me or bring contentment or happiness or safety? How often do I see my limited plan as my saving grace and redemption instead of realizing that I already have a king- I already have a redeemer?
Our 'king' that we desire can look different and be called many different names. Anything that draws us and our attention away from God and His goodness can be a 'king.' Anything that we think will bring joy and contentment and peace besides Christ can become a 'king'- something we think we need, something that seperates us from God by turning out gaze away from Him.
I do not need to chase after those things I so desire but yet do not have- for God knows what I need. He is what I need. If I needed more He'd surely provide it. Even when I reject Him and His plans He will not abandon me. It is all for His glory-for the honor of His great name, for His fame. He has made me especially for Himself.
So here is the punchline for me: Through all my discontentedness and disappointment, through the hours I have spent making my requests known to God for my plan, for my 'king' these words nullify it all and bring me straight to the heart of God- right where He wants me, close to His bosom. 1 Samuel 12:24, "But be sure to fear the Lord and sincerely worship him. Think of all the wonderful things he has done for you."
That to me is the end to all disappointment, discontentment and frustration. If I worship Him sincerely as I was created to do this brings Him honor and draws my attention and focus off of myself and onto Him. As I think of all the wonderful things He has done for me it is impossible not to overflow with gratitude. For the wonderful things He has done for me surpasses the number of the grains of sand on the beach!!! As I ponder His goodness to me I am content. I am right where He wants me to be. Joy overflows. This is how I can rejoice in the Lord always(Philippians 4:4).
Absolute surrender leads to absolute joy which comes only from an absolute God!
I love His loving conviction that draws me closer to Him. I love that He gives me the power both to will and to do- this power must and does come only from Him!!! I want to live in absolute surrender to Him- that includes my plans and my desires being surrendered unto Him- to His ways and His plans. This is when He can give me the desires of my heart: when His desires become my desires. That can only happen through absolute surrender. Absolute surrender can only happen absolutely by Him and in the power of His Holy Spirit. Deny self and follow Christ.
"God help me to live in absolute surrender!" This is abundant life in Christ. This is knowing the power of the Holy Spirit. This is true joy. "For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking (worldly things), but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17)."
"O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:24-25
Thursday, January 12, 2006
William Wallis
Thank you for all of your prayers for Eli today. He did awesome!!! Barb and I both remarked as we walked out of the doctor's office today that we could literally feel the prayers and grace on all 3 of us today.
Going through and EEG is so stressful, one of those situations that you don't even realize how difficult it was until it is over. It is like when you don't realize that you are holding your breath until you finally allow yourself to breathe and realize you really needed to. Walking out of the office today I felt like I finally took a deep breath, a much needed breath.
EEG's are very intense. We cover them in prayer so the intensity seems to start days before the actual procedure. There is so much required of Eli but yet he is not able to understand any of it, there is no way to reason with him- so it is left up to us to comfort him and provide all he needs to get him to do all the different things required of him for the test.
During an EEG the electrical activity on the brain is measured. It looks like a bunch of lines on a graph moving up and down. If any of the lines spike, that is not good. We are hoping for a pretty balanced looking graph. We meet with Dr. Kojic next Wednesday (the 18th) at 10:30 to go over the results of this EEG.
During the EEG today they needed to test Eli while he was doing various different activities. It was important to see how his brain reacted under different circumstances. It was my part to get Eli to do the different things they needed him to do. He needed to laugh, he needed to watch TV, he needed to cry- which wasn't a difficult one, he needed to watch a blinking light at various speeds and intensities, he needed to be awake and alert, he needed to be drowsy but not sleeping, and finally, the most challenging, is that he needed to fall asleep.
But all praise to God- Eli did everything he needed to do today. He had so much grace. It was easy to get him to laugh. He was very interested in his movie. He was intrigued by the light and when it was time to fall asleep he snuggled with my arm, his blanket and Grover and drifted off peacefully into a slumber.
He did a great job. I was so proud of him today. He is such a strong little man. I was looking at him sleeping today with tons of wires coming out of his head, all wrapped up in gauze, I was thinking about what it will be like to share with him in 10-20 years about these days we are experiencing now- days he won't remember but that will no doubt shape who he is forever. I look forward to sharing with him about his great strength and bravery through all of these tests and taking medicine and going to therapy and visiting doctors more often than any child should have to. He is so strong- I admire his strength and bravery. I am so proud and blessed to be his momma.
Thank you again for your prayers. We know that the grace we experienced today came from God- He is all sufficient!!!
Paleozoic Neurologist
No, our neurologist is not old or ancient in anyway. On the contrary she is such a cutting edge neurologist. She just moved into brand new offices so close to Universal Studios that you can hear the roller coasters and the screaming tourists.
Dr. Kojic is, I think, the best Neurologist around!!! It was no doubt a God set up when she was assigned to Eli while he was staying at Arnold Palmer hospital after the accident. She has been such an encouragement and a tremendous help throughout this whole journey of recovery for Eli. Dr. Kojic agrees that she has witnessed a medically unexplainable healing in my little man. She reminds of how severe his injuries were and of how blessed we are that he is so normal and healthy; that he is growing and learning new things every day; that he shows emotion and has a sharp mind- all of which is a miracle.
Praise God!!!
Speaking of miracles...pun intended. Eli is talking up a storm these days. He tries to repeat just about everything I say. The other day it was, 'the cow jumped over the moon' translated, 'ah oooowwww up a ooooooonnnn!' I had to chuckle and hug him.
Eli has a little dinosaur that I named Derik. We call him Derik the dinosaur. Today we were playing with Derik as we have been for the past year. I said to Eli, "He's a dinosaur." Eli looked at me very intently (he seems to do nothing with out great thought and intention) and said, "inosoar" which made me gasp.
This was the first word he said that sounded like a real boy said it! It was clear and unmistakable. Most of the words he said are in need of momma translation and are said with his cute high pitched exagerated inflectuations. But this word was spoken with clarity and tone as if he had said it 100 times before. I was quite amazed. Eli can say dinosaur! He said it not just once. He didn't just get lucky- no- he proceeded to repeat the word 3 more times with clarity yet again! Amazing...simply amazing!
Eli's healing increasingly grows more obvious and evident. But with that, I do not ever want to grow complacent to the incredible miracle his healing is. I do not ever want to withhold the glory and honor due to God for it. I want to always be thankful. I am so grateful.
"Lord, help me to always have a grateful heart for all you have done for Eli and me."
Eli has another EEG tomorrow at 1:00 pm. Please pray for us during this time. As Eli grows the EEG's have become more difficult and taxing on all of us. He does not usually tolerate getting all the wires stuck to his head very well. Even more difficult, he has to fall asleep for the procedure.
So, please pray for grace for Mr. Eli. Pray that he is content and restful as he is being prepped and that he falls into a good rest when it is time. Pray for accurate results and for wisdom for the technician and Dr. Kojic as they interpret the results. Thank you so much for standing with us in this. I will keep you updated on what is next.
Bless you all.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Catcher In The Rye
The weather has been absolutely beautiful here in Florida. It has been in the 70's, breezy and bright blue. The weather is addicting. When I am inside I am sick with a longing to be outside in the fresh air and sunshine.
Eli and I spent most of our day outside today. We started off as usual, outside on the trail near our house on our morning walk. When we came home it was too pretty to go inside. Instead I brought Eli's big green bouncy ball outside to the backyard. There, we played until it was time for lunch.
We threw the ball back and forth together, laughing. We ran and chased each other in the grass. Eli pulled the leaves off of a nearby bush and then proceeded to try to put them back on the bush again, sadly to no avail. Eli was %100 boy and as dirty as can be. He was picking up mud and throwing it into the sky. He was running then plopping down right in a big pile of dirt and giggling- we both were giggling with delight.
I took Eli's green ball and threw it- gently- towards Eli. He reached out his strong arms and plop, the ball went right between them. We tried it again. The same result. We tried it yet again, and guess what?!? Eli caught the ball!!! I squealed with excitement. He was so proud of himself too. He threw the ball back to me and I threw it back to him, success! He caught the ball again. We can play catch together now! We did play catch together for quite a while today. We both loved every second of it too.
As far as rye is concerned- Eli would have nothing to do with rye bread right now. He is on a bit of an eating strike as of late. Perhaps it is because he doesn't like guacamole, or chili, or mashed potatoes or pumpkin? Or maybe it is a more understandable reason...he is cutting his bottom molars. Ouch! They are white and just barely visible through his gums.
Even though I know he is not hungry because his mouth hurts- it is still so hard to trust that he will eat when he is hungry. I do my part and keep trying to offer him good healthy food- we will just keep being persistent. I know he will have an appetite again.
His eating strike it complicated. He is very happy and content. He does not fight me when it comes to mealtime. He simply just doesn't want to swallow. I will give him a bite of food and he'll hold it in his mouth for ten minutes or more until finally swallowing it. Mealtime has been taking us so long and even then he isn't actually eating much at all. Three bites in thirty minutes isn't seemingly sufficient.
Eli is obviously very healthy and happy. This strike has only lasted a few days- but as a mom, and you moms know what I mean, these few days feel like forever! It is so hard not to worry too much about it. I know he is fine, I bet by tomorrow he'll have a great appetite again. I will just keep trying my best to get him to eat and to make sure what he does eat is as nutritious as possible.
I recently heard that %95 of kids do not get any green vegetables in there day and an alarming %75 don't even get veggies at all unless it is a french fry. That is crazy!!! I try to give Eli something green at least every day and vegetables- they are a regular part of lunch and dinner. I was surprised by this statistic. I guess some children are picky eaters but with vegetables it doesn't seem like it should be much of an option. Cheese and sour cream goes a long way- just about any vegetable can taste yummy if it is doctored up a bit.
Don't worry... I am not going to start and 'Veggies for Children' campaigns, although I don't want vegetable to be an optional food in my home. Wow- I can't believe I even just said that- I sound like my mom! Oh well, I guess what they say is true...
