With Candles?
I greeted Eli this morning with news of a birthday. You might remember a previous post around Christmas time that I shared of Eli's new love for birthdays and everything about them. Curious George and the Birthday Surprise is still one of his favorite books. We read it many times each day. The book ends with George, the monkey, blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.(Eli has really started to notice candles. At church he intensely watches the acolyte carry the candle up and down the isle. At home he is intrigued by the dancing flame atop the jar on the counter top. He notices candles in books, but mostly he noticed candles when they are perched upon one of his favorite delicacies in life--cake.)
I told Eli that today was a very special day, that today we were going to have a birthday party. Eli's face lit up with the news. He quickly and excitedly asked: "with cake?" and I said, "yes." Then he said with his eyes a little wider, "with candles?" and I replied, "Yeeeiisss!" He was so excited.
Then I asked Eli to guess whose birthday we were going to celebrate today. He rightfully guessed himself but I had to correct him. I told him we were going to celebrate his daddy's birthday and have a great party for him. Then I tried to explain to Eli that his daddy was having an even greater party in heaven with Jesus than anything we could ever imagine here on this earth. Eli listened, but was mainly excited to help me make the cake and lick the spoon as any toddler would be...
After Eli's nap we met AJ's parents for dinner at one of AJ's favorite restaurants, Outback Steakhouse. We had a very pleasant meal. Eli behaved very well but kept asking for cake with candles, only to be reminded again and again, "After we are all done eating our dinner..." Eli was full of joy today. I know his hugs and laughter were especially a blessing for AJ's parents. After Eli was all done eating his dinner he crawled up in Mia's (AJ's mom's) lap and belly laughed there with her leaning against her chest offering his joy and strength to her in his innocent childlike contagious way.On the way back to the house Barb and Carl stopped and picked up just about the hugest balloon that I have ever seen. Eli was so excited about the balloon that he even walked around with it a bit, which if you've read the recent posts you know what a miracle Eli walking at all again is! His walk is still unsteady and he still tires easily but praise God he is getting stronger. Praise God he is starting to be able to walk and get around again! The balloon gave him great incentive to walk this evening, an incentive that matched his great smile and delight.
Once home, balloon in hand, we lit the candle that was in the cake and sang one of Eli's favorite songs. Yes, you guessed it...'Happy Birthday'. Then Eli helped to blow out the candle and lick the icing off of the wax stick--a very important task never to be overlooked. The four of us: Barb, Carl, Eli and me sat around the kitchen table and ate cupcakes together.Carl's prayer summed it up as best as any could: "Thank you God for the life AJ had and thank you God for the life AJ now HAS!" What reason to celebrate. It doesn't make the missing him any less. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but there is hope there... We can celebrate in the reality of what is true! AJ now has life more abundantly than anything we can ever begin to imagine because AJ is now fully living, living in Christ, living WITH Christ in complete redemption.
After eating the cupcakes, with full tummies we sat on the couches together and watched some movies of AJ. It is still quite impossible to watch AJ so alive and not feel the lump in my throat and my eyes fill up. I'm not sure what makes me want to cry more: seeing him alive, hearing his voice and missing him or realizing that this is all that is left. That the video will always be TOO SHORT! That there will always be that longing for more...Eli described it perfectly. He was intently watching the movies and grinning. When Eli first saw AJ's face this evening his eyes lit up with excitement and he said, "Daddy!" Once the movie was over Eli said, "more daddy?" Through tears we responded, if only it was so...we want 'more daddy' too. Eli snuggled and melted into my lap, that was grace.
The day was a special day and rightfully so. It was exactly what it needed to be. It was yet again another day covered in grace, a grace that never ceases to amaze me!
posted by Kellie # 8:54 PM
