Encouragement From the Vine
I have found myself in a funk over the last few weeks. I hate being in funks, this usually frustrates me even more, just adding fuel to the fire. I'm not one that enjoys a good pity party for very long. As soon as I recognize the feelings of doubt and discouragement I try to pray about it and pray through it. I think the funk happens when I forget to leave my burdens at the altar. It happens when I try to carry them all around with me. Sure, I let God take a peak at them but for some crazy reason I don't give them completely over to Him, leaving them in His hands.
Once this happens, funk happens. I start getting very inward focused and try to play psychologist on myself. A downward spiral begins leading ever deeper into self, further away from God. I think this is part of Satan's scheme for us all. He tries his best to do whatever he can to get our eyes off of Christ. It is so subtle that I don't even realize it is happening, till suddenly, my joy is gone and I'm miserable.
Praise God He never turns His gaze off of me. Praise God He never changes. All I have to do is lift up my eyes and He is there- the Rock that can never be moved. But how do we connect the gap between these two abodes? How does one 'flip the switch' so to say? How do we get out of the funk of the mire and muck?
The simple answer: God
The complicated intricate answer: God
The psychological philosophical answer: God
The practical answer: Well, here is where I will base the rest of this blog, wrestling with this concept through sharing what God is showing me in this season of resting under God's garden hose (which is feeling more like a firehose these days) and getting all the mud washed off of me. (It is all summed up in John 15:1-17, which I definately recommend reading as soon as you get a chance.)
Sure I was still praying even though I was in a funk. That was actually part of my discouragement. Why wasn't God enough for me? Why wasn't I feeling content in Him? What was awry that made me feel I needed more, that left me unsatisfied?
Thankfully God is abounding in grace. He showed me ever so greatly the sin of my selfishness. I have shared before that 'Worship opens doors to all God's goodness'. Well, I have recently learned the power of the opposite truth. I am seeing that selfishness squelches the channel of His presence into my heart.
Let's go back to the vine and the branches (John 15:1-17)... God is the vine and I am only a branch. If I am separated from the vine- my lifesource- I will quickly turn brown and shrivel up and die (spiritually speaking). So when I am selfish and inward focused (i.e. in a funk) it is like pinching the branch. While I am still connected to the vine, I am not able to get the vital nourishment I need to grow and thrive, thus, spiritual shriveling occurs.
Although God was showing me all this, I was still feeling very helpless. I began praying and relying on 2 Corinthians 12:9, believing God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I was feeling very weak. I came to Him in utter faith to help me, to lift me up, to pour out His life-sap into me. I didn't have perfect grandiose words to say to Him. My prayer was simple: "Grace! In Jesus name, Amen."
Then, as I was reading and praying before bed last night God brought it all together for me. Usually revelations do not come quickly to me, often they take months or years to come together for me in a way I can understand. Although God was giving me small pieces of this a bit at a time- all the sudden He showed me the bigger picture- it all made sense. It was a McDonald's moment, instant gratification.
God showed me the parted Red Sea likened to the one He led Moses through, only I was alone- no Moses, no Israelites. There was a huge wall of water to my right, a huge wall of water to my left, a vast intimidating army behind me, but, before me was everything I could ever need- Christ. Christ parted the sea for me and provided a Way, His Way. He was calling me through the valley between the raging waters. All that was required of me was to walk straight ahead, on through, towards Him.
It was such a beautiful scene until I looked closer at the image. I would have liked to think I was marching through that ravine with my head held high and my eyes ablaze with the goal firmly in sight. I was looking for a victorious warrior, but all I saw was little ole me trembling there between the two massive walls of water, starring up into them. I was intimidated and terrified. I couldn't see that there was life beyond the raging waters. I couldn't see that there was a way through it. All I could see was what was surrounding me- fierce waters and a ravenous army. I stood paralyzed by fear.
That is when I heard the voice, looking up I saw the warrior I was trying to find in myself. It was the voice of Christ gently and firmly calling me, trying to get my attention. He knew if I could just look at Him I'd have the strength I needed to walk safely beyond the waters and leave the army trampled beneath it all. He saw my weakness and met my need. He fixed His gaze on me, locking His eyes into mine, directing me with each step I needed to take. He steered me around the boulders that lay in the dry sea bed, lighting each bend in the path. He stood at the end, seeing all- knowing all- providing all- being all.
With my eyes off of myself, off of what was surrounding me, and firmly fixed ahead on Christ, I did not stumble, could not stumble. He is the Way. He didn't guarentee the path would be easy, there was no assurance the journey would be safe or short, but He assured me it would be good and it would end in victory: faith, hope and love- the greatest being love.
I was deeply humbled last night by God graciously showing me all of this. It was encouraging and refining. I saw how detrimental selfishness has been to me and to my ability to bear fruit for His kingdom. Although I was going to God in prayer, (going to Him selfishly is always still better than not going to Him at all) what I realized is that even my prayers were selfish-centered and not God-centered. It was all about me. Worship is all about Him. I was doing the opposite of worship and wondering where His presence was?!?
Worry closes your doors to Him. Worship opens His doors to you.
God is showing me that the way to climb His holy mountain is to bring others up with me. I woke up excited with a renewed hope and a fresh challenge. My challenge: living beyond myself. I purposed to try to be intentional to pray for others at least as much as I prayed for my own needs today. I also finally obeyed God's leading to write a letter to a dear friend who's recently become a widow. I began turning my focus off of myself and onto God. I began praying and asking Him to show me ways I could worship Him by serving Him. (And asking for grace to sustain this desire!)
I went through my day. There were no fireworks, no pats on my back. Yet I had a fresh vibrant joy- a satisfaction and fulfillment that only pleasing my Savior can give. It was nice and I want more. The funk has lifted as my eyes have lifted.
Oddly, this afternoon I thanked God for withdrawing the sense of His presence from me, for otherwise I would have never had to search harder and push through to get to this place with Him. I would have missed this revelation. I know He never left me, it was I that was in the way. But now we have reached a new place together. One step higher up His Holy Mountain. One day closer to Him. One more chance to adore Him greater.
So this brings me to about an hour ago: I finished the very holy and pious act of watching the Grey's anatomy premier, very good by the way, then I came upstairs to check emails. I was blown away. (I do not share this now to say send me encouraging emails- I share it just because God is so great and humorous like this.) I do not get what I like to call 'random emails of encouragement' very often. I always greatly appreciate it when I do, considering each one a morsel of grace. I figure God must know what I need, when He puts it on someone's heart to share something with me it is His way of providing for me in His sovereignty.
Today I felt like God opened the floodgates onto the dessert soil of my heart. While checking emails tonight, in what is usually mostly spam and boring, there were 5 separate 'random emails of encouragement'! It was very encouraging, not so much because of what they said, but the principle in it all. God saw and He cares. It was the principle of reaping what you sow. Today I was finally intentional about sowing- finding ways to care for others. And it's on this very day that God chose to send 5 different people out of their way to show me that He loves me and will care for me. It was overwhelming. He is good and faithful. He knows just what we need and when we need it. He is never early and never late. Had this happened to me last week I could have missed this lesson altogether.
So Onward- deeper into His love and grace with your gaze firmly affixed on your Warrior Savior, Jesus Christ. Onward-deeper into the rich joy He gives when you love others with the love He has shown you. Delight in Him and be vitalized by the delight He pours out upon you. Eyes up and onto Him. Let Him lead you up out of the mire and muck, out of the water walled valley- down beside peaceful springs of living water.
Abundant joy is yours through Him. Take joy wherever you go. The more joy that flows out- the more joy that will flow in. Pass joy on. Pass love on. "Love can and does go around the world, passed on God-currents from one to the other." (God Calling, AJ Russells, Page 111) You will be amazed at the peace that will wash over you. Peace floods as your eyes connect to Christ's eyes. Peace floods as your life shares Christ's heart. Peace and joy are yours in abundance through Christ alone. Lift your eyes, lift the funk. Sow in love, reep in love abundant peace!
Some of you reading this might be attracted to this Warrior (not the worrier) I shared about earlier. You might be looking for a redeemer, a savior, a purpose, or a way out from the mundane burdens of the daily grind. You've probably tried lots of things but each time it has failed you and left you lacking. You have heard me share about the Way. But how do you get on the Way?
Through the cross- Jesus is the Way. (John 14:6)
Jesus bore all our sins on the cross- identifying with us and all our pain. He is our Savior Redeemer. He is the only Way, Truth and Life. There is NO WAY into abundant eternal life in the Kingdom of God apart from Him. All have sinned and fallen short, all are in need of the saving redeeming grace in Jesus Christ. The good news is, you do not have to wait to begin living in the abundant life of Christ. As soon as you connect to the Vine (Christ) by asking Him to freely and completely dwell in you by making your heart His home- you enter His abundant life and all His power is available to you. His power is limitless, knowing no boundaries. His power is freely given to all those who are His. He wants to call you His own. Respond to His call and let Him love you. Let Him surprise you.
You need His power and want access to His grace- abundant and so sufficient. He is longing to impart it extravagantly and freely to you. He is simply waiting for you to let Him. He is calling out to you asking you to lift your gaze and fix it on Him, to let go and let Him. If you haven't yet done so, take some time now and invite Jesus Christ into your life, then wait and let Him surprise you with just how amazing His grace and love really is. You might not see or feel anything immediately. But wait on God, get alone and be still. Think on the simple fact that He is God of all, creator of the universe and the lover of your soul. Get a bible and begin to get to know this intimate stranger, Jesus. (The books towards the end of the bible are all about Him.)
Connect to the Vine. Connect to Christ. Be intentional and let Him pour into you. It is one decision that will impact you for all eternity. God is good and Jesus is Lord. Always good- always Lord! He loves you just as you are. He created you that way and will accept you as you are, imperfections and all. He is perfect, you do not have to be! Invite Him into your life. Let Him love you. Let Him lavish His love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you. He stands at the door of your life and heart knocking. Let Him in. He never promised to be safe- but He is always good! His grace is always sufficient! Life in Him- always fulfilling!
posted by Kellie # 9:48 PM
