Bright Future
Our future is looking bright. One day at a time, one victory at a time. Each day conquered in God's grace is a victory. I never cease to be amazed at how sufficient God's grace is for today. It is always sufficient for TODAY.
Eli is my little rock star. His new hit, 'Twinkle Twinkle,' has just gone platinum. You should hear it. He rocks the house singing about his little star.
With all this new fame he has found it hard to be in the limelight. Thus when he discovered these great hot ducky shades in the bottom of the toy bin he was ecstatic at the solution to his problem. He now has an act rival to Stevie Wonder. He is surely an Eli Wonder to be reckoned with. He even has the moves- the stiff sway from side to side, yup he's got the whole act. He is nearly a triple threat.
Thankfully he has his new shades to help disguise him when we are out in public, that will help keep the press at bay and the autographs minimal. It is hard to be two and a twinkling rock star!
Eli is doing great handling all that is going on in and around him. He has handled all the doctor visits and tests, poking, and prodding with such grace. Despite having another small seizure this past Thursday morning he is thriving. We got the results back on his blood work and everything looked normal. This rules out any possible infection or vitamin deficiency causing the new scaring.
We are so grateful for your prayers and know this good news is in major part due to all the prayer releasing God's power over Eli. We still need to figure out the new scaring shown on the recent MRI. Also please pray that these seizures would cease immediately and that they would not hinder Eli's growth and development in any way.
I have reached a new milestone myself. As of yesterday I have grieved one day for each day AJ and I were married. As I went to bed last night I wept grieving this milestone- being AJ's widow longer than I was able to be his wife. I know this is a significant place to be. There is a sense of accomplishment I feel having made it to this point, yet a very real understanding is there as well- knowing I have only made it this far by God's grace alone. Thankfulness for His grace abounds in my tears as well.
I feel a wholeness in knowing I have had a full day to grieve and let healing enter into all the places of my heart for each day my heart was able to grow closer to AJ in love as his wife. Grief is long and hard. I know that it is something I will carry with me forever. It is a part of who I am, just as much as AJ and I were one and he is a part of who I am. I desire God's complete healing and restoration. I want Him to continue to stretch my heart and make room for more love- more love to enter and more love to flow out.
I feel a hope for myself as well as for Eli. I am hopeful for a bright future filled with love yet again. I am thankful for all the ways God is stretching my heart and flooding it with His healing. The pain of loosing such a wonderful husband and friend, AJ, transcends even my understanding. That is why I am thankful I can trust God with my heart completely- trust Him to care for me and restore me; trust Him to heal me; trust Him to bring His redemption to Eli and me however He sees fit and best. He has been so good and faithful to us. I know He is unchanging and will always remain faithful.
I do not know what this next season will hold. I wait on God, hanging onto the hope and promise of Isaiah 54:2-6, "Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family...Don't be afraid- you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back- you're not going to come up short. (Message)...The shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood will be remembered no more, for your Creator will be your husband. The Lord Almighty is His name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief. (NLT)"
I long for God's continued redemption in our lives. He has carried us so graciously and beautifully throughout each day and I know He is sufficient to meet all our needs, to handle anything that comes our way. There is nothing to difficult for Him- no road to winding, no heart to lonely, no pain to deep. Nothing can separate us from His love. So we continue to walk, relying on this love abundantly supplied to us.
Job 14:7-9, "If a tree is cut down, there is hope that it will sprout again and grow new branches. Though its roots have grown old in the earth and its stump decays, at the scent of water it may bud and sprout again like a new seedling."
Isaiah 6:13," Israel will remain a stump, like a tree that is cut down, but the stump will be a holy seed that will grow again."
I feel I'm relating much to a tree stump these days. I have been cut down, a deep and severe pruning has taken place. But I have hope for tomorrow, hope that there is abundant life in Christ awaiting me. He is the water I thirst for and I know He has promised to quench all those who thirst. He is good and the giver of good things. His rivers will never run dry. Come wash over me till my cup runneth over and new life- life in You- is abounding at every turn. Come pour out your rivers of blessing upon Eli and me and let us bear much fruit for You.
"Think of my trees-stripped of their beauty, pruned, cut, disfigured, bare, but through the dark seemingly dead branches, flows silently, secretly, the spirit-life-sap, till lo! with the sun of Spring comes new life, leaves, bud, blossom, fruit, but oh! a fruit a thousand times better for the pruning.One day at a time. Moment by moment, kept in His love...
Remember that you are in the hands of the Master-Gardener. He makes no mistakes about His pruning. Rejoice. Joy is the Spirit's reaching out to say its thanks to Me. It is the new life-sap of the tree, reaching out to Me to find such beautiful expression later. So never cease to joy. Rejoice." (A.J. Russell, God Calling, Page 38.)
posted by Kellie # 1:52 PM
