Happy Birthday Eli!!!
Eli turned two today, we have officially embarked into the terrific two's stage- and I believe it will be terrific! We kicked off the new age with a bang. Eli had a wonderful day today. I tried my best to incorporate all of his favorite things.
The day started off by going to church. Eli loves to go to church and really gets into the routine of things that happen each week. He always talks about the cross- the one hanging in the church and the gold one they process with. (Eli talks about crosses so much that he even calls the letter 'T' a cross. Sometimes he just points to the cross and says Jesus- wow!!!) I am so grateful God has given Eli such a receptive heart to the things of His Kingdom. I pray this only continues as he grows. May He give me the wisdom I need to foster this and be faithful with all I've been given. I have been given so much!
After church Eli got to watch his favorite show, Sesame Street, with Mia- one of his favorite people in the whole world. Eli had already played so hard by this point that he walked into his room and said, "night night, crib?" asking to go to sleep in his crib.
During Eli's nap I got very busy. I filled about 100 balloons with air and put them all over our loft. Balloons are Eli's absolute favorite thing right now. He talks about them from the moment he wakes up in the morning and then kisses them goodnight each evening before bed. So I figured this year balloons would be the best birthday gift he could receive.
My sister helped me with the task. We succeeded in covering every piece of carpet in the loft with a balloon. It was a dreamland for Eli. As he walked up the stairs and was just cresting the top he exclaimed, "ooooh balloooon!" He was a bit overwhelmed, in a good way. He just stood there and stared at them all, not really knowing quite where to begin.
It wasn't long before he was batting them up into the air and catching them, kicking them, and squeezing them ever so gently. He even affectionately kissed a few. I was so excited that he was blessed by all the balloons. It is definitely a memorable birthday- even if he'll only remember it by all the pictures and this blog I'm writing now to archive this extra special day.
We had all of Eli's favorite foods for dinner on a special plate Eli and I made on his first birthday. Our menu included: Meatloaf, mac-n-cheese, and green beans. For dessert we ate ice cream and funfetti cupcakes. Eli dove right into the cupcake with out any hands, face first. I am not sure if this is because he was so excited to eat it and figured this was the fastest most efficient way to consume the cupcake or if it was the fact that he hates to have messy fingers so by this method he was ensured of mess-free consumption? It might have even been the sheer fact that each time he took a bite we laughed and cheered him on so he knew his chosen eating methods were the hit of the evenings entertainment!
I slipped Eli's medicine into his ice cream. A spoonful of sugar always helps the medicine go down! Eli was making muscles, clinching his fists tightly and raising them into the air each time he took a bight of his ice cream. Then he'd proceed to shout, "Buffington!" He truly is a Buffington through and through- he's strong and has a great affection for ice cream- two definite 'Buffington' qualities.
After laughing till his sides hurt it was time to kiss the balloons, well a few at least, night night. We read some stories, sang our song and turned out the lights. It was all quiet awfully fast. And just like that Eli's 2nd birthday was over. A celebration to be written down in the history books. Eli was definitely celebrated royally today- which was exactly the goal and point of our day. It was so wonderful.
I am so thankful Eli enjoyed his day so thoroughly yet it is somewhat amazing to me how hard holidays and celebrations still are even though we are nearly 2 years away from the accident. As I prayed for our meal tonight and thanked God for two wonderful years with Eli I wanted to burst into tears. Partly it was emotional because I am so grateful for Eli and for the two years we've already gotten to share together. Partly because AJ has missed most of these two years and was missing that moment right then.
AJ would have been so proud of Eli sitting so strikingly handsome in his chair up at the table. And he'd have been really excited about his cool new shoes he was wearing that matched his orange shorts- yup, he'd have liked his shoes a lot.
I was filling all the balloons with air and praying that all of this work I was doing would bless Eli on his birthday. I was thinking how awesome AJ would have thought this idea was and how he would have, should have- been right there with me, helping me fill all these balloons for Eli. It was nice, I guess, to have the time to pray and reflect- but hard. The hole AJ leaves is so huge and for some reason it just seems so much bigger and emptier on holidays and celebrations.
What a celebration it was for us two years ago this day. It was the best day of our lives, a moment I will forever be grateful that we were able to share together. But sometimes just to look at Eli breaks my heart because I know what he has lost- the incredible father he had. I see his need and often weep for him as I pray over him, begging God to supply all of his needs. It is an odd thing a widow feels, a helpless desperate trust. A feeling Andrew Murray, one of my favorite authors describes beautifully. These words have been the source of much encouragement to me.
In pages 234-239 of his book, Raising Children For Christ, he writes:
"Weep not, widowed mother, as you look at your little ones, and your heart almost breaks at the thought of their being fatherless. Weep not, but come, follow me, as we seek Him who has been anointed to comfort all that mourn (Isaiah 61:2).....All the other parents whose children Jesus blessed came and asked for help, but He speaks to the widow of Nain without being asked. Her widowhood is her sufficient plea: 'When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.'.....
He never speaks without doing. He gives what can dry the tears. If Jesus were to take the place of the father for these children, you would smile and sing even through the tears. If, as a living reality, Jesus would undertake the responsibility of educating your children, of being your advisor, your strength, and your assurance of success in your work, would this be enough to keep back the tears? And this is just what He comes to do. God spoke in the Old Testament, 'Leave thy fatherless children...and let thy widows trust in me;' and 'The Lord relieveth the fatherless and the widow.' Jesus comes in human tenderness, in the nearness of the Holy Spirit, to fulfill these words.....
Of a widow He asks but one thing- 'Let thy widows trust in Me (Jeremiah 49:11). This was what He claimed from the widow of Nain; this is what He asks of you. Trust Jesus! Trust Him for yourself. Let each thought of your departed loved one lead you to say, I have Jesus with me- I will trust Him. Let your awareness of sin and shortcomings awaken the prayer within you,'Jesus! I will trust you to make me what I should be.'
Trust Him with your children, with their temporal and their eternal needs. Only remember the life of trust requires a life of undivided, simple childlike surrender. Really trust Him and in every prayer make this your main confession: I have now entrusted my need to Him, I trust Him with it. I am confident, He is mighty and faithful to keep that which I have committed unto Him." (Murray 234-239)
Oh that I truly had the faith to live and breathe the truth of these words. Friends please continue to pray for Eli and me. Pray that we would have the faith for the task at hand. Pray that we would continue to trust Him and never waiver in our stance. Pray that Eli would have all that he needs. He is well provided for physically- thanks be to God- especially pray that spiritually and emotionally he would continue to have all that he needs.
Pray that I would have the grace and wisdom to be the best mom I can be for Eli and to trust God with the rest, knowing I was only created and equipped to be his momma. May I find the rest and peace I need in trusting Him. May the truth that He is fathering Eli bring me tears of joy and put a spring in my step.
Praise God we don't have to go through this alone. Praise God for His body, so beautifully knit together, able to uphold parts wounded and weak. Praise God for such a wonderful family we are surrounded with that love us and support us. Praise God for His healing grace continually flowing in and all around us- may this never cease!
And yes, praise God for two wonderful years with my son Eli. There were moments when he was in the hospital that I wasn't sure whether this day would ever come at all or whether he would have the emotional ability to enjoy it. As I watch Eli laugh- alive, well and thriving I can't help but be overwhelmed with thanks, wonder and awe at the merciful healing power of God shown to me in Eli's life. He is my miracle, my expression of grace.
So yes, thank you God for two wonderful years with Eli. Today is a miracle. Everyday is a miracle. Eli is a miracle. This is why I boldly declare: God is good and Jesus is Lord. All blessing, glory, honor and power be Yours Jesus- forever and ever! Halleluia and Amen!!!!!
posted by Kellie # 10:36 PM
