Todays Talk...
Today was such an awesome day! I was able to see God totally move through the story He has given me. This is a way He is redeeming our lives. If He can take what I've learned through all I've been through and use it to teach and encourage others and give them hope then that makes it worth it to me. I saw a glimpse of that redemption today and I praise God for it.
I have CD's of the ministry time today. You can either email me and I can send you one or you can order it from Celebration Church directly at www.celebration.org. I will charge $5 for it just to cover my shipping and packaging costs.
Here is a copy of my notes for the talk today...
Sweat the Small Stuff- 3/23/06
I am not a hero- I am a mom and I was a wife. Ever since I was a little girl when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd simply answer, 'I want to be a wife and a mother.' I loved the idea of a quiet simple life, behind the scenes supporting my husband and raising a family. Nothing grandeurs. Nothing heroic. Just a simple, safe, and comfortable life.
I was married young to an amazing man. We shared the kind of love that just seemed to bubble effortless out from the depths of our being. We responded to God's leading to start our family earlier than we had planned. I now know why God gave us a sense of urgency. We did not have much time.
Nearly a year and a half ago my husband AJ was killed instantly in a devastating car accident. My son and I were also in the car. I miraculously walked away unharmed, but our 3 1/2 month old son, Eli, was a bit less fortunate. He had life threatening injuries. The back of his neck was fractured. He suffered from multiple contusions on his brain, which caused him to have multiple strokes. The strokes caused his brain to bleed, which then caused seizures. His main injury was in his right temporal lobe, which is the part of the brain that controls all of his emotions and the motor skills on the left side of his body. Eli could not look to the left or move the left side of his body.
In an instant my life was changed. My nice comfortable plans forever thwarted. I will no longer be able to be just a wife and a mom. I am now a Widow. I often feel like Hester in the Scarlet Letter, like I am walking around with a giant 'W' on my chest. I did not choose this life or this path, but it is the path I now must walk on.
Psalm 77:19, "Your road led through the sea, Your pathway through the mighty waters- a pathway no one knew was there!"
I'll never forget the moment I found out about AJ: I was lying in the emergency room with blood all over my body. My clothes had been cut away- a metaphor of what had just happened to my heart. I felt like hours had gone by and still no sign of AJ at the hospital. I prayed with every spare breath I had. I felt the closest to how Jesus must have felt in the garden of Gethsemane praying before His death, although I new my agony, which was all I could bear, was only a small fraction of what Christ felt.
The hospital Chaplain pulled the curtain by my hospital bed. My mother and sister were standing on each of my sides cleaning the blood off of my face. The Chaplain stood with a blank expression, staring at us. I quickened her to tell me the news of AJ. She said stoically, "Your husband was killed instantly in the accident." I looked at her without thinking and responded, "God is good and Jesus is Lord." Little did I know the power those words held and how much that truth would carry me.
Mary is definitely a Super Hero. When she responded to the astonishing and terrifying news God gave her informing her that she a virgin was carrying the son of God in her womb she said in Luke 1:38, "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."
This was her defining moment. This small decision she made flowed out from her heart. Her strength and character shone through these words. She didn't stop and pray for weeks about how to respond to her situation. She responded immediately and her response was immediate and absolute surrender.
I have always been amazed with Mary's immediate heart response to God. I have prayed to have the same submissive heart. Little did I know how God was going to begin to answer that prayer. This moment with the Chaplain was when the battle for my heart was won. I in utter exhaustion and weakness- totally surrendered to God, exalted in Him and in doing so, His strength made my weakness perfect. I was very weak. He was very strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I think it is the choices we make that make us heroes. Often it is the simple heart responses that can change our lives forever. The choices that are seemingly insignificant, more so than the ones that we spend weeks praying over, are the choices that reflect our character and Christ's character within us. It is how we let our hearts respond that affects our victory. We are on our way to being super heroes one small simple decision at a time. The condition of our heart is so important and essential to our becoming all God wants and needs us to be- to our becoming a super hero. We need not to neglect our hearts and the importance of cultivating the soil of our hearts.
Our hearts are small, about the size of our fists. Our tongues are even smaller, especially compared to the size of an elephant. But both our hearts and our tongues, although minor in size, have a major effect on our lives. They are so vital to how we live. We need to sweat the small stuff and not neglect it and not be careless with it.
Matthew 12:34 & 37, "For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned."
Proverbs 4:20-21, 23, "Pay attention, my child, to what I say. Listen carefully. Don't lose sight of my words. Let them penetrate deep within your heart. Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."
I didn't know how important those seemingly fruitless quiet times had been. I didn't realize all God was preparing me for when I came to His presence and yet left seemingly dry and unchanged. I had taken time in God's word and in His presence regularly and now I was seeing the fruit of God's Spirit.
I saw in that moment of utter helplessness that what was in my heart flowed out. To even my surprise, worship flowed out- declaring God's strength and goodness flowed out. In a moment when everything in and around me said run, my heart said otherwise. I did not sit passively and feel my way into acting. No! Instead I acted my way into feeling and declared what I believed to be true- whether I felt it or saw it or not.
I am far from heroic- but my God is the Super Hero of super heroes and He lives in my heart. He is the strength of my heart through my darkest hour and beyond. If your worst fear happens when you leave here today and if God is the Super Hero in your heart then you will shine through any obstacle life brings your way.
Psalm 73:26, "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever."
My son, Eli, spent many days in the PICU undergoing many tests. 3 days in the hospital, after many exhaustive exams, we had our first long-term prognosis: "If Eli is lucky he might be able to walk someday, but his injuries are very severe." I was at my in-laws house surrounded by fellow mourners when I received this phone call. I hung up the phone and said to those sitting nearby, "It's ok, we can do this, we'll get through this, God will help us. If Eli needs special care the rest of his life then I will give it and God will supply all we need."
Almost immediately Pastor Stovall Weems, who was visiting at the time, gathered us all together. But we did not gather to pray for Eli, instead we gathered to worship our Almighty God. We didn't have music; we didn't sing songs. We simply exalted in Christ's strength and adored His goodness and Character with the words that flowed from our hearts. We placed all our faith, hope, trust and expectation in Him. We set all of our tomorrows in His nail scared hands. We surrendered. We exalted.
Again this attests to the power our words can have; to the power of a simple quick decision; to the power of what flows out from our hearts; to the power of worship.
Psalm 34:9, "Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness."
Our worship that night opended His door, it opened the door to all His goodness. Eli's condition began to improve consistently from that moment on. A scratch on his face completely vanished, he began eating again and the intensity and frequency of his seizures began to subside. I am delighted to say that Eli started walking on Thanksgiving- yes I was very thankful this thanksgiving!!! Eli laughs a lot, gets frustrated, gets excited- shows tons of emotion and is very expressive. He just underwent another routine schedule of therapy evaluations and passed all the tests yet again. His prognosis is now a normal healthy outlook. Although he still has abnormal EEGs, which means he is still at risk for a seizure, he has miraculously remained seizure-free ever since he was released from the hospital.
That is the power of worship and our words in action! The power of God in action!!!
After the first few intense weeks after the accident, when all the drama and commotion began to subside, the reality finally began to sink in. I found myself broken. Broken beyond more than I could even conceive. My biggest fear had come true.
I remember telling a good friend in those days that this was the hardest thing I had ever had to face, but the person I needed the most to help me through it was the exact reason why everything was now so hard- my husband, my strongman was gone. Having absolutely no where else to turn I repeated the words that carried me through the first night, "God is good and Jesus is Lord." I knew if they could carry me through my first darkest hour then they could carry me through my second darkest hour and my third darkest hour... Christ would carry me by His life giving Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:3, "...and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit."
In my weakest moment the Holy Spirit came and helped me- it is by Him that I was able to speak those words. This attests to the fact that in that time the Holy Spirit was carrying me and helping me as I so desperately needed him to do. Even though my world was falling apart all around me, God never failed me and didn't forsake me- but instead His embrace became ever stronger and His grace ever more empowering.
Lamentations 3:19-33, "I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all- oh, how well I remember- the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return."
I had read God's word. I had sought after Him. I desired to know Him. I thought I was satisfied in Christ- with the amount of Him that I had in my life. I was comfortable. But God is not concerned with our comfort, He is concerned with our conforming. I was content to have God's word on my heart. I didn't see that there was more...so much more available to me.
There was a Hasidic Rabbi who told people that if they studied the Torah, it would put Scripture on their hearts. One day someone asked him, "Why on our hearts, and not in them?" The Rabbi responded, "Only God can put scripture inside. But reading sacred texts can put it on your hearts, and then when your hearts break, the holy words will fall inside." ~The Tales of the Hassidim~ By: Martin Buber
This powerful image also shows the need to have the word on our hearts so when our hearts break God's word is there to enter and fill it- so there is something there to fill our broken heart. When our hearts break God wants to mend them and fill the brokenness. He can and He is willing but we must let Him. We do our part by putting His word on our heart so He can do His part and fill our heart with His word.
Psalm 84:5-7, "Happy are those who are strong in the Lord, who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. WHEN they walk through Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs, where pools of blessing collect after the rains!"
We are strong in the Lord when we have His word filling our heart. Even though we are walking through the Valley of Weeping we can still be strong in the Lord and have joy in His strength. When your heart breaks God will fill it with His Promises, His Truth and most importantly He will fill it with Himself- if you let Him.
To have our minds set on pilgrimage means we are determined to do His will; that we are determined to walk no matter what the circumstances and no matter how difficult the walking is- we walk. These are simple decisions- matters of the heart- that can make us super heroes.
I am struck by the next word in this passage: 'when'. It is not 'if' they walk through the Valley of Weeping but rather, 'when'. We need to be ready and have God's word on our heart. We need to be proactive and have our minds set on pilgrimage before it is difficult to walk. It is through this heart stance that we will have eyes to see the abundant blessings that are there after the rains have passed. The blessing we will see will be more of Christ. He is our Super Hero and He will be more magnified in us and we will know Him better.
Psalm 18: 28-36- "Lord, You have brought light to my life; my God, you light up my darkness. In Your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. For who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock? God arms me with strength; he has made my way safe. He makes me as surefooted as a deer, leading me safely along the mountain heights. He prepares me for battle; he strengthens me to draw a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of Your salvation. Your right hand supports me; your gentleness has made me great. You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping."
God has supplied all of my needs. He is sufficient for me. I can say that now and finally begin to really mean it and know it. For the past year and a half I have been saying it out of desperation. I needed Him to be sufficient for me. Everything else had been stripped away from me.
The death of a husband is more than just a loss of one you passionately love. It is the death of an entire life- of a future, of hopes, of dreams and even materialistically- of our home and the comforts and familiarities of it. My own big spoons that I ate my cereal with and my pink plastic cups that I drank water out of were packed away in a box along with the rest of the life I knew and loved. I felt so robbed in losing AJ. It is not that the loss is any less now, but despite of it, God is showing me that He is still enough for me. Even when it seems I have little, with God I still have much.
I had nothing to cling to but Christ. I needed to cling to Him or else I had no reason to get out of bed in the morning. So I clung so tight that my knuckles turned white. I gritted my teeth and said, "Darnit, He is enough for me" and I determined myself to say it until I really believed it. "He is enough for me!"
Hebrews 11:1, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see."
By faith I said these words, 'He is enough for me.' It is not to deny the pain and the loss to say that God is enough for me. Rather it is acknowledging that pain and taking it to the cross of Christ. It is joining the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings as He so invites us to do in His Word. He knows the pain. He has already born our pain on the cross. He wants to share the pain. Let Him share your pain. Receive the hope and grace only He can give. It is the only sufficient balm.
God has gone far beyond me and my feeble faith. He has proven Himself time and again to me in this season. Eli and I lack nothing. We have all that we need. God is all that we need. He is enough for me. When all has been stripped away I can now say- despite that- He is enough for me, but it goes further: God's love and strength knows no bounds. Because He is unchanging- the same yesterday, today and forever- He will be enough for me tomorrow and He will be enough for me next week. He is enough for you right now. He will be enough for you tomorrow. He will always be enough for you. He is sufficient- always sufficient.
I did nothing to earn His sufficient grace. I was not 'holy' or 'pious'. I did not recieve it based on anything I did. It was freely given and undeserved. God loves us all the same. His grace is there in abundance for you and it is so sufficient. Taste and see that Lord it good. Let Him be enough for you- He will exceed your expectations.
So here is the punchline truth: God is all we need. He withholds the things we think we want and gives us what we need. He knows our needs and supplies our needs. He is all we need. We will lack nothing when we take up our cross and follow Him- simple quick decisions that can change our life. Determine in your heart to follow Christ. Declare from your mouth to follow Christ. Say it till you know it to be true, "He is enough for me!"
Whatever it is you are going through. What ever that mountain is that you can not cross and that seems so impossible to move- trust Him. God is bigger and stronger and so good. He's got the whole world in His hands, including you and your life- every detail of it. Trust Him and do not worry.
Luke 12:25-32, "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not! And if worry can't do little things like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith! And don't worry about food- what to eat and drink. Don't worry whether God will provide it for you. These things dominate the thoughts of most people, but your father already knows your needs. He will give you all you need from day to day if you make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom (righteousness, peace and joy- Ro.14:17)."
So do as Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Exodus 16: 4 & 21, "Then the Lord said to Moses, "Look, I'm going to rain down food from heaven for you. The people can go out each day and pick up as much food as they need for that day. The people gathered the food morning by morning, each family according to its need."
When God provided the Manna for the Israelites while they were in the desert- He provided it each day- all that they would need. It would spoil at the end of the day so each morning the people had to wake up and go out to gather their daily bread. Yesterday's work of gathering would not last for today. God did His part to supply their needs. All the people had to do to have all their needs met, was to simply go each day and receive all God had faithfully provided for them.
Try your best for today. Put God's word on your heart. Be intentional. Be proactive. All God asks of you is your best for today. When you wake up in the morning let your prayer be, "God empower me to obey You and please You, to the best of my ability, in all I do today. Help me to be the best me I can be for today."
Soon, a day of victory will become a week of victory, a week of victory a month… How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Take it one day at a time. Have grace for yourself- God already does! Be the best mom you can be for today. Be the best wife you can be for today. Be the best friend you can be for today. Be the best daughter you can be for today. Most importantly be the best child of God you can be for today. This is a simple decision that can affect the rest of your life. This is a Super Hero decision.
I have been through the fire and not been burned. I have been in the lion's den but not been devoured. This I know: God is sufficient. If you leave here with one thing today may it be this assurance- God is sufficient for you! His love, His grace, His power knows no bounds! God is good, Jesus is Lord, and He is sufficient- always sufficient. Trust in Him. Hope in Him.
Romans 8:35, 37-39, "Can anything ever seperate us from Christ's love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is our through Christ, who loves us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever seperate us from His love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able tos eperate us from the love of God revealed to us in Christ Jesus our Lord!
Trust Him! He is good- SO GOOD!!!
posted by Kellie # 8:21 PM
