Ragamuffin Gospel
Praise God for His provisions. It is funny how often I think I have to search hard for something when really it is right in front of my nose all the time. I am realizing how many wonderful blessings and opportunities are all around me. There seems to be so many things and relationships I can be investing in right here close to home in Orlando that I realize I have been neglecting. I want to be faithful with all that I have been given and admit that I do not think I have done the best job with that.
But I am thankful for grace. I am thankful that God is so loving and patient with me. I have been very blessed with a new accountability partner. God has brought a wonderful friend through which we can mutually challenge each other and grow spiritually. We will be able to spend time praying together and we are also beginning to do a Beth Moore bible study- 'To Live Is Christ'. We were talking together yesterday about different things God has been doing in our lives lately. One thing she noted after a few minutes of me talking was this: she said it seems like God is bringing me into a season of freedom.
As soon as she said this a lot of things clicked in me. I realized that yes, this is a season of freedom. God is freeing me of things that I didn't even know existed in me or that held me captive. One major tool He is using is the author Brennan Manning. I recently read his work, 'The Importance of Being Foolish' and now I am currently reading 'The Ragamuffin Gospel'. Both of these books are filled with words that resound with God's love and grace. They seem like simple truths but I never realized how little I knew of both of these things until I began reading these two books.
If I tried to begin quoting them I might as well just quote the entire works- it is all that good. So instead let me just highly recommend you read them. It will change you and free you.
I realize how twisted my thinking is with regard to God's love. I know in my mind that I can not earn God's love but something seems to disconnect in the 12 inches between my mind and my heart. I still was feeling as though God would love me more if I was really good or if I prayed a lot and served others selflessly. While yes, these are all good things- they do not make God love me anymore. His love is given to me freely. I am accepted just as I am- know matter who I am. The good things I do to honor Him should flow out of the motive to respond to His love that He has freely lavished upon me- not out of the motive to earn or guarantee His love.
Modern American Christianity makes this a complicated spiritual principle. The church as a whole rewards piety. They look down on 'sinners' afraid to realize that without sinners there would be no need for churches! Everything around us goes against the truth and freedom of us believing and knowing He loves us just as we are. But He really does! We must trust that and live with that assurance of faith. As Paul says in Galatians 2:16, "And yet we Jewish Christians know that we become right with God, not by doing what the law commands, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be accepted by God because of our faith in Christ- and not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be saved by obeying the law."
Another huge revelation I am beginning to have is the false sense of security spiritual pride brings. As a Christian whose friends are mostly Christians as well- I can act just as wrongly as those of the world and cover it all in spirituality- thus deceiving myself and them but grieving the heart of God. I am so careful to make sure I look good and sound good- 'spiritual.' I must use the right terms and have that certain way about me. All this striving is such nonsense. It smells bad to God. We know we all have a smell- 2 Corinthians 2:15, "Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God."
I want to smell good before God. I want my life to be like the expensive perfume that Mary poured over Jesus. I want to pour my life and all that I am onto Him and I want it to smell good and pleasing to Him. I want it to be a fragrant offering unto Him.
I don't want to just talk about things and not do them. So much is done in secret behind closed doors. That is where we get our integrity. I want to be a woman of integrity. I am broken over the pride God is showing me. I am humbled to see the impure motives in my heart. I didn't realize how much the praise and approval of others meant to me- instead of the praise and approval of God. I want to love and serve God with all that I am. Without love I have nothing- I am but a resounding gong- and that can get really annoying. I don't want to annoy God.
Even now as I write this there is the temptation to want to sound good and 'spiritual'. I am writing all this partly to flesh it out in myself. But also because I hope and pray God will use what He is showing me to in some way bring revelation to others as well. I do want to be down-to-earth and approachable. I don't want to over spiritualize everything or make things more complicated then they need to be. I also don't want to make others feel as though they have to be and act 'spiritual' in order to relate to me or be accepted by me. I think of Jesus and how comfortable sinners were around Him. He was so down to earth and approachable. He would share meals with tax collectors, drunkards and prostitutes. I want to be one who accepts others as they are and makes everyone feel welcome and loved by me. I do not want to hide behind a self-condemning wall of spirituality.
It is so amazing the way God works in my heart. Here He is perfecting me daily. He is gently shaping me and graciously disciplining me and showing me sin. I assure you that if you pray Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." God will respond to that prayer.
I read something amazing today in 1 Kings 19:11-12. It painted a beautiful image of how God deals with us. "Go out and stand before me on the mountain," the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper." God was in the gentle whisper. That is how He came to Elijah to speak to Him.
I am often expecting God to come in the wind, earthquake or fire. I hardly even can recognize the soft gentle whisper. But that is how He often comes. I must be still and know that He is God. I must listen. He is gentle and loving. His ways are filled with grace. He chooses to come in the soft gentle whisper. How loving and inviting!
His graciousness astounds me. His gentleness is making me great (Ps.18:35). Just as He is correcting me and raising my low places and lowering the high places in me (Isaiah 40:4), He is also teaching more about His perfect love and grace then I have ever known. I am realizing the meaning of 1 John 4:18 which says, "Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that His love has not been perfected in us."
When I realize I have sinned, which is nearly a constant occurrence, I know that while it grieves God's heart it doesn't make Him love me less. While I will have to bear the consequences of my sin- I am still just as accepted by God no matter what I do. I can not earn His favor. It is given freely. To believe otherwise takes all the power out of what Christ did on the cross for me.
There is so much going on in my head that I still can not articulate. God seems to be setting me free from myself and my own inhibitions. I am often too self-conscious and self absorbed. I am overly concerned with what others think of me instead of what God thinks of me. I do not want to be this way. I know I have a lifetime of perfecting ahead of me. But I am glad to have at least some of myself stripped away. I want to be real and genuine and honest with myself, my God and my community. I want to be transparent.
I realize piety does not impress God. On page 22 of The Ragamuffin Gospel, Manning says: "A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God." I want to live like a saint- I want to experience the goodness of God- that includes His grace and mercy.
It is important to point out the key chapters of Romans 6-8 where Paul is struggling with sin. We are free from the power of sin. Although, it might appear the that God is glorified when we sin because He can offer forgiveness and we can receive His grace. BUT! As Romans 6:6&11 says, "Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. So you should consider yourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Christ Jesus."
We obey God because we love Him- not to earn His love. I get caught easiest by the spiritual things. I feel more loved by Him when I read the bible or pray- thus my motives in doing those things can become selfish and corrupted. I shouldn't try to earn God's love or win His favor by using Him; by reading His word and praying to Him only for a sense of security. While those things are natural outcomes of time abiding with Him- it should not be my motive. Oh how selfish I am! I so want a pure heart. I want to honor God simply because He is worthy. I want to give Him all of me because He is worthy. I want to abide in Him because He is worthy. He is faithful. He is loving. He is true.
I am not going to stop praying or reading the living Word. It is humbling that God in His faithfulness still uses these times no matter what my motives are- despite my human-ness. He still hears my prayers and blesses them. He is giving me revelations in His Word and making me more like Him- although I know I have a LONG way to go. I am glad to at least be walking on the Highway of Holiness. Isaiah 35:8, "And a main road will go through that once deserted land. It will be named the Highway of Holiness."
posted by Kellie # 11:28 PM
