Mary and Martha
I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha as I sit here tonight in front of the computer. I will briefly remind you all of the story.
Mary and Martha are visited by Jesus to their home. Martha is very busy the whole time trying to being the perfect hostess to Jesus. She is busy cooking and cleaning and doing things for Jesus. Mary on the other hand is simply sitting at Jesus' feet. She is listening and enjoying simply being with Jesus. Martha gets upset with Mary for not helping her out and accuses her to Jesus. Jesus responds in a surprising way. He says what Mary is doing is of much greater worth to Him and pleased him much more.
Mary is investing in her relationship with Jesus where as Martha was focusing on serving Jesus. Jesus desires simply to be with us. I once heard some one say we are called to be human "beings" not human "doings". That is so true and this story exemplifies that fact. In our American culture we are so busy. We feel that the only way we can be successful is to be busy. We get our worth from our accomplishments. But as the this story teaches us- that is contrary to God's values.
AJ and I have spent a lot of time praying about slowing down and taking time to invest in relationships. Most importantly in our relationship with Christ, that was the heart behind one of his last blogs "Relationships Matter." We challenged each other and held each other accountable towards this goal. It is very hard though to gather our worth from who we are in and with Christ instead of what we are doing for Christ.
AJ's death is forcing me to the seat that Mary took that day. I have no where else to go now but to the feet of Jesus. There is no work to be done, my broken heart and weary soul would be useless right now for "doing" things and honestly I feel like actions and busyness is so meaningless. Relationships matter. Don't get me wrong we should serve God and that will naturally flow from the result of the time we spend sitting at his feet. But the times we spend silent and still before God must precede all action. This situation is teaching me this. I can not function with out the strength and life of God continually being poured into me. This mountain is too high to climb alone. This valley to too dry and to wide to cross without being carried in the arms of my God.
I have always desired to be closer to God and often the words "Help me to want to want you" have been uttered from my mouth in prayer. I hate that this situation is what is bringing me to this point though. I hate that my beloved AJ had to die. But now God is more real to me than ever before and I value the preciousness of life all the more. Even the flowers are more vibrant and beautiful then ever. Satan's scheme will not prevail, what he intended for bad is being made good. God always wins!!!
AJ truly sought after God and was the first to introduce me to the fact that it is relationships that matter most, that is where the yoke is broken and that is how the walls come tumblin' down. Life is short and I am challenging you all in the same way my husband AJ challenged me day in and day out to invest in people, invest in relationships and most importantly invest in God. Give him the best gift you could ever give him- your time. Not time doing things and being busy before him but just time with him- just a part of yourself. He loves you simply because you are you not because of what you do or do not do. But because you are you.
I miss my AJ and I would do anything to have him back. He taught me so much and he forever changed my life. The reason he had such an impact is because he took time to invest in me and to be with me and to listen to me. I realize though that all he was doing was simply just a reflection of what Christ desires to have with me. Some of my favorite moments with AJ are the times when we were just together sitting close and it was quiet, we weren't saying or doing anything- just "being" together, but it is in those moments that volumes were exchanged and we too can have those moments with God, he deeply desires that with us, each and everyone of us.
AJ was a truly amazing man and I consider it such a huge priviledge to have been chosen to be his wife. Everyday I had with him was a blessing and I am priviledged to have gotten even one day much less 3 years sharing the the most intimate relationship in his life- being his wife. I love my AJ and I miss him greatly. I want to live a life that makes him proud that I was ever his wife.
I challenge you to invest in those around you- remember God is always with you; he will NEVER leave you or forsake you. Even if you leave him he cannot leave you- he is God and he just loves you too much.
posted by Kellie # 10:23 PM
