Just Breathe
Life is so interesting. Words are not adequate in describing the whole wave of emotions that I feel. On one hand I am thankful to be alive, all the experts say all 3 of us should have died in the car crash- it was that bad. All I am left with is a fractured hand, a sore knee and a very broken heart. I am thankful for Eli, our son and the biggest blessing I have. Eli is a walking miracle (well he's not walking yet, but he will be one day in Jesus' name). There is so much to be told about all that God has already done in little Eli. He is nearly 4 months old and already has an amazing testimony. I have an odd sense of excitement that I will explain more in a future blog- Just know that I believe with all my heart that God will redeem this. He will take what was intended for bad and some how make it wonderful and glorious even though right now there is no glory to be seen. I have a hope for the future because I know that my God is good and faithful and able and most of all willing. What a mighty God we serve! Praising God is the only way that I can possibly make it through this. I have to ask God for the strength for each second, minute and hour; for the strength to breathe. But again, he is good and faithful and Jesus is Lord. My heart hurts so bad for AJ. I long for him in my inmost being, so much that it physically hurts. The only thing I can associate to this is that of the feeling of intense contractions. I dilated 8 centimeters in one hour with no pain medicine when I was in labor for Eli and that hurt so bad. That pain came deep from within and hurt like none other I'd known. This is similar and deep inside like that, only much worse. But with my God I can scale a wall and move a mountain and with my God I will overcome- someday. I know I have a long hard road ahead but just know that I have purposed to walk this road and I will try my best to stay focused on God the only one who can help me to keep taking it one step at a time and to put one foot in front of the other with out stumbling. I am praising God for the victory we already are having with Eli, again I will explain more how he is in a future blog- I am so tired but I wanted to at least give an update to all of you who are checking the site regularly. Eli came home from the hospital and is improving everyday. He started to smile again today which was so encouraging to see- his smile lights up the whole room and brightens my saddened heart. Eli is a source of grace and joy and he is such a blessing. Check back to the site soon as now that things are beginning to settle down I will be able to make updates again regularly. I love all of you and I can never thank you enough for all of your prayers, encouragement and love. God bless each and every one of you who are reading these words. I have so much to say. There is so much I am learning and I am so passionate about life- life is short- we have got to LIVE!!! So live with abandonment and worship without holding anything back!
posted by Kellie # 9:20 PM
